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Abuse, Exploitation, and Narrative Control in Polyamory February 23, 2015

Posted by shaunphilly in Polyamory.
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Here is RabbitDarling’s most recent post, concerning the abusive patterns of people formerly in her life. #AbuseInPoly

[I’m disabling comments for this post. Post comments on the site linked, where RD can control the conversation.]

I could hide my own Easter eggs.

[Content Warning: Manipulation, abuse, victim grooming, sexual assault, physical assault, mild reference to BDSM themes, toxic relationships, general squick]

[Author’s note: this account, while full, is not exhaustive or replete.  It can’t be.  There are hundreds of moments I could include in this narrative that illustrate and illuminate the dynamics of the relationships I’ve survived, and despite which, have chosen to thrive and flourish.  Comments will remain open, but as always, moderated strictly by me, prior to posting publicly. ]

Being in an abusive or exploitative plural relationship is a lot like falling asleep in the bathtub with the lights out and no map.  Wait.  Let me explain.

Okay, so let me back up.  Have you ever fallen asleep in a hot bath?  I do it with some regularity.  It’s a rather odd experience and feels as close as I can get to describing what it’s like to find yourself…

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1. 5 Harmful Myths the Ethically Non-Monogamous Community Needs to Address — Everyday Feminism - November 12, 2015

[…] is focusing on treating the symptoms instead of the deeper causes of these issues. There’s more focus on the victim, rather than the perpetrator and the circumstances that allowed the abuse to occur in the first […]


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