I have been unable to write, recently.
Part of it is that I’m going through some transitions, and I’m not quite sure where I stand on some things. I’m finding it hard to articulate nuances and distinctions, because I’m not sure where I stand within their mire.
Part of it is that I’m not sure if I have anything that I want to say. No, that’s not quite right. Part of it is that I’m not sure that I have anything worth reading.
But mostly? Mostly it’s just that I’m worn down.
I’m busy. I work all day, most evenings are full of time with partners, friends, and other activities. On paper, everything is great. I feel like I should have nothing major to complain about, as I have financial stability, excellent health , and I’m moving soon to a place further away from the toxicity that I have been mired in over the last couple of years.
And yet every time I try to write, it falls flat. Usually, when I write the action creates it own energy and the next thing I know an hour or two has gone by and I have written way too much (I edit, usually). These days, I get an idea, I get started, and then about 2 or 3 paragraphs in, it just dies away.
Just like that.
And now I don’t know what to say.
I’m trying, but it’s hard.
I hope to be back soon.