I’ve not been writing recently, mostly because I’m in a period of transition and re-consideration of some things. In lieu of writing, I wanted to share this excellent piece by my good friend RabbitDarling. Enjoy!
I could hide my own Easter eggs.
It’s funny how seeing people publish your private communication without context or permission after a prolonged period of abuse and control makes you guard yourself so closely. It bleeds into everything, at times.
“Will this person respect that my feelings about xyz in this moment might change?”
“Are my feelings publication-worthy, publication-safe?”
“Can I trust this person?”
“May I express something I don’t fully endorse right now? That I might not endorse later?”
“Am I free in this relationship?”
Am I free in this relationship. Free from? Free to?
Is being fallible permitted? Will it be permitted after the relationship terminates?
Will words uttered in frustration now be used to alienate, control, shame me later?
It’s an excellent isolation technique. It’s excellent blackmail. It’s superb at silencing.
It’s extra strange because so much of my communication that was published by third parties was a product of how I was treated. Of…
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