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A debate about polyamory and monogamy October 20, 2011

Posted by shaunphilly in Culture and Society, Polyamory.
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I was directed to an interesting conversation on Facebook today.  It is in two parts.

If you just refuse to read it, essentially it is a conversation between two people (“Jaime” and “Kelly”) about monogamy and “permanent promiscuity,” but the term polyamory is used in the conversation as well.

There are many points I find incomplete, flawed, etc on both sides (although I agree with the polyamory-advocate “Jaime” much more, obviously), but I will not bother with in-depth analysis.

What I do want to comment on is that “Kelly” comes across as saying that promiscuity, or polyamory, is too hard for most people and so to ask it of people is asking too much.  This comes across to me as apologizing for human weakness.

It sounds to me like a person saying “being a good person is too hard, and you can’t expect people to do it.”  Or, perhaps  more to the point; “doing the work involved to become more emotionally mature, honest, and less fearful about my insecurities is too hard.”

I don’t have much sympathy for this.  It is merely excusing laziness, fear, and mediocrity at best.

As I like to say, if you are happy, then great.  But if it might be possible to be happier with some effort, what is stopping you besides fear and insecurity?

 

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