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Creedocide… February 26, 2009

Posted by shaunphilly in religion, atheism, polyamory, culture.
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I just had to share this…
Creedocide

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1. Gerry - March 2, 2009

Thanks first of all for this access to your blog, and secondly for your outstanding profession of atheism and polyamory, then thirdly for your definition of your atheism as lack of belief in God, though not denial that God can exist and in fact does exist, except that you don’t have for yourself enough evidence.

I just want to get you correctly about what is polyamory.

Is it what I know to be promiscuity in sexual relationship so that a person has several sex partners of either the opposite sex or both sexes?

In practice it means that a polyamorous person has sex with one partner in the morning and another one in the evening and a third one tomorrow morning and a fourth one the tomorrow evening, and they are all acquainted with each other and are satisfied with the practice?

Gerry

2. shaunphilly - March 2, 2009

That is a rather sex-oriented view of polyamory. Poly is not primarily about sex, but relationships. It is foremost about creating loving partnerships with more than one person, and does often include sex. I think you may be confusing polyamory with swinging; the latter is primarily about sex with many people, usually with your significant other.

I am currently in a relationship with two women. I see them separately, although they do know one another and do sometimes see one another, although not romantically or sexually any longer. I do not fly around town sleeping with a bunch of people. I’m currently committed to these two people and do not pursue other relationships. Polyamory and commitment are not mutually exclusive.

3. Gerry - March 3, 2009

I have not read your message above earlier.

But what is essentially different in your lifestyle of polyamory is that you have romantic relationship with at present two women, which however you are no longer copulating with them, but you can and they don’t mind if you do with them.

But if you are telling me that the relationship with those two women are not of a romantic character, and you have definitely stop copulating with them.

But you love them just the same, and I presume by love you mean you care for them and they happen to be women, and you just have this thing in your heart that you have a peculiar concern for women which you don’t have for men.

I like to know how this kind of a polyamory that is your term for the relationship of love with at present with two women and is not at present oriented toward copulation and cannot be described as romantic, how namely this relationship of love is different from the love you I presume have for your mother and sister(s), and aunts, and grandmothers, except that with the two women they are not bound to you by blood.

Please tell me if I may ask what exactly is polyamory that is something that you want to tell people about namely: that for being an atheist you think you are free and beyond guilt or should be beyond social censure for cultivating.

In plain words, what is the big deal with your polyamory?

I love and have a relationship of love and caring with practically all the women and girls in my office, and I don’t copulate with them or entertain romantic thoughts about them.

But I don’t have to use a distinctly different word like for example multi-agape to describe my kind of relationship with them, and that it is allowed me owing to my profession of a kind of outlook in life I call nondeusism.

Just tell me what is such a big deal with your polyamory that other men don’t go into for being Christians.

You know, shaunphilly, you seem to congratulate yourself for being an atheist, but I can’t see from reading your messages here what exactly is such a big deal about being an atheist, except for having the right or the justification of telling mankind of the theistic school that you are intellectually sophisticated, namely: you don’t believe in anything that you don’t have evidence of, and God is one thing you have no evidence for.

Gerry

4. shaunphilly - March 3, 2009

First of all, the specifics of my relationships I will not discuss here in detail. You should read more carefully. All I said was that they are no longer involved with one-another, not that I was not involved with them sexually.

As far as being free as an atheist; yes. I feel like I am able to explore myself and the world without the artificial restraints of some absurd ethic of some religious traditions. I’m not beyond social censure, and I take care to live in such a way as to not harm people around me unnecessarily. If people are offended by my lifestyle, however, that is not my fault.

There is, no, there should not be, any big deal about polyamory. The reason is that for many it is a natural way to live. But many who are uncomfortable with it make it into a big deal.

Now, I will not claim that you don’t go around maintaining fantasies about women you work with. However, if you are going to tell me that, deep down, you haven’t known a woman (assuming you are attracted to women, but if not, then substitute men in the following sentences) at work, at the cafe you go to, etc which you haven’t thought was quite attractive and caught yourself looking, thinking about, etc…and even have done this with more than one of them…then I’d bet these desires are repressed.

We humans are sexual and social beings. I simply believe that to limit our sexual, romantic, etc desires to one person is artificial and arbitrary of our culture to do. To automatically assume, or force ourselves to practice due to religious beliefs, monogamy is silly. There are reasons to limit our sexual exposure, of course, but we must balance our natural desires with the caution that we must employ. And for each person, that balance must be found; and for some, that will mean chosen monogamy. But monogamy should be actually chosen, not assumed.


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