“Marital Zipcar”? March 10, 2012Posted by Shaun McGonigal in Culture and Society, Polyamory.
Tags: relationships, sex, swapping, swingers
I don’t know how I feel about the idea, but it is basically slightly more organized partner-swapping.
In any case, the term “marital Zipcar” will likely stick with me for a while.
I think the basic idea already slapped your brain with either awesomeness or disgust (no middle ground is possible, I asset!), so the question is obviously whether it would be a concept worth discussing, as polyamorous people?
I am not sure, but it did make me think about it as swinging for poly people; as in, we have our little poly family over here, and so do you all, so let’s mix up and see who might be interested in swapping a partner or two here or there occasionally. Rather than “monogamous swapping” (really, it’s not monogamy if there is sharing of sexual partners) among couples, it is swapping among groups of people who tend to be too busy to go out and look on their own for a little variety.
Sort of like a hybrid between polyamory and swinger communities. Swingers tend to be couples who play with other singles or couples, polyamorous people tend to be more relationship oriented. And, of course, some poly people do a fair amount of interconnecting between poly groups, but rarely do orgies break out (in fact, outside of specific parties which are designed to create such things, I have not seen this appear spontaneously).
So, would a “poly Zipcar” be a variation on polyamory, or would it just be swinging?
I guess the question depends on how we distinguish polyamory and swinging; as a qualitative difference or one simply of relationship versus sexual orientation.
In any case, one of these days Ginny and I will have to re-construct our attempt to graph the dimensions of differences between swingers and polyamorous people; it involved (if I remember correctly) at least three axes!
Poly date night March 6, 2012Posted by Shaun McGonigal in Culture and Society, Polyamory.
Tags: date night, dating, swapping
People do polyamory in a plethora of possible ways.
Some people rarely if ever spend time with their partners’ partners, but keep their relationships separate. Others, like us weird people, spend a fair amount of time together. Date night is no exception.
So, last night I came hone from work to find Ginny hard at work on dinner. OK, that’s not quite true. I found Ginny at her quite disorganized desk, in a bathrobe, watching something (probably dumb) on netflix. Same difference.
In any case, I was sent to start water boiling (I am actually quite a good cook, so this is really under-using me in the kitchen, but nonetheless it was a necessary first step). After a few minutes, Gina and Wes arrived, earlier than Ginny expected. Ginny then appeared from upstairs to greet all and sundry and eventually she continued with dinner prep.
Chicken parm, a bottle of red wine (drank, by Gina and I, in orca wine glasses of course!), and some conversation was enjoyed by all four of us. We followed that with adorable cupcakes that looked like monkeys which I bought from a bake sale at work.
Then Ginny and Wes went out for bourbon while Gina and I stayed in for a while (Bible-reading, of course) for a couple of hours before going to get a beer (or two, in my case), at the Resurrection Ale House down the street (a theme might be deduced from this…but no, we are not becoming Christians).
Chemistry, cosmology, and quantum mechanics are discussed. What do people usually talk about at bars? Stop looking at me like that! Whatever, we are smart…or pretentious. One of those.
Finally, after some time (space, and dimension too!) Ginny and Wes met us at the Ale House as we finished our beers. Our re-assembling into a four-some, with various affectionate greetings seemingly went unnoticed by the others at the bar (at least it seemed that way) and then Gina and Wes went home, dropping Ginny and I off on their way by the house.
In the end, I go to bed (with a touch of the drunk from two very good ales I had with Gina) with Ginny and the morning comes early.
This all seems so normal to me. I imagine this would seem rather abnormal to other people. This was a pretty typical evening with the four of us (Jessie was elsewhere last night), and it does not seem odd at all.
Polyamory really is not very radical a practice, once you get yourself past the strange non-monogamy thing.